RiOT DEViL
by Grand Phoenix
Summary: It's no wonder why Nanoha's called the White Devil. Just ask Vivio! Orochi Crack to the Max! StrikerS Episode 25.


**Disclaimer :** All characters and places belong to their respective owners, ©2004-2008.

_A/N: Just a random crack fic I wrote before I get back to work on my X-mas crack (which is coming along slowly but nicely). The title alludes to the Orochi state Iori Yagami goes into in the King of Fighters games._

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**RiOT DEViL**

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Hell was ticking on a Doomsday Clock nearing one minute to midnight as the ship quickly approached Mid-Childa's orbit.

Aboard the Saint's Cradle, destruction waited. At their master's first breath, they would unleash (**inadeepvoice**MAXIMUM PWNAGE!**inadeepvoice**) on the weakened and bound Sankt Kaiser below.

Vivio's bi-colored eyes fluttered closed, steeling herself for the upcoming impact because like hell it was gonna hurt like a li'l bitch and any noise of agony, angst, guilt, and whatever teenage hormone pumped through this unfamiliar body that came out of her mouth was warrant to earn her a SHINIGAMI CUP GOLDEN! from Nanoha-mama after all the shit was wiped off the fan.

Che, better than being the four-eyed demon's bitch for the rest of her waking life. She'd take five Starlight Breakers any day. (And how did she know about 'em anyway? Oh, because GP-sama was hammering personal data of the infamous White Devil into her skull as if the good author was tenderizing meat.)

(And second of all, why the flippin' dot was Nanoha-mama called the White Devil in the first place? Was she some sort of legend among the Diablo community or was she that fearsome of a player on World of Warcraft--?)

"Kukukukuku . . . ."

And what in katamari was so funny? Any minute now the Saint's Cradle was going to blast a new asshole into the planet! Precious time was being wasted here!

_'Maybe she snapped,'_ thought the Sankt Kaiser. _'I would too if a giant beam was about to lay waste to us. Probably go twice as mad if someone made a crack about FIRIN' MAH LAZAR . . . .'_

"Fufufufufufu . . . ."

Okay, was she missing something? There was a ship, a laser, a world in peril, and the gods-damned countdown. WHAT was so FUNNY about this picture?

_'For the love of the King of All Cosmos . . . .'_ Vivio decided to open her eyes and pose this enigma when full-blown confusion bloomed across her face. _'What the--?!'_

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" guffawed Nanoha Takamachi, who was leaning back with her fists clenched at her sides. An evil glint shone in fiery blue orbs. "NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bitch, I'm about to OWN YOU! BWOHAHAHAHAHA! Say it with me, Raging Heart! BWOHAHAHAHAHA!"

The Intelligent Device glowed a magenta aura. "(BWOHAHAHAHAHA, MY MASTER!)"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Vivio stared disbelievingly at the cackling duo. Then, galvanized by the vein throbbing on her temple, she barked: "IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?! GETTING A SICK THRILL OUT OF BEAMSPAMMING A LITTLE GIRL?! THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Nanoha chortled. "Kukuku . . . . My child, hate not me. Hate your weakness!"

"I'M VIRTUALLY INVINCIBLE, DAMMIT! CAN'T YOU SEE THESE BINDS BREAKING?!"

"Oh, but of course! Are you afraid of me?"

"NO! So if you're done referencing Hayate's lost lineage, I highly recommend you finish what you've started! We're wasting time!"

Nanoha sighed and waved a dismissive hand at the young'in. "Alright, alright. Relax, kid. I was only playin' around. Don't get your panties knotted up."

"JUST DO IT!"

"REMEMBER ME ON THE FULL MOON, VIVIO!"

"NANOHA-MAMA!"

"GO BANG, STARLIGHT BREAKER!"

"(I CAN BE SHOT!)"

_Bweeeeeen!_

_'So THAT'S why she's called the White Devil,'_ mused Vivio her last coherent thought in awe before her world went white.

AND THEN THERE WAS A GREAT MUSHROOM CLOUD OF DOOM AND IT WAS RAINING BUNCHIES!

The Saint's Cradle explodes in a dazzling fashion.

Two stars burst through the ship in different directions.

One star knocks the wind out of Hayate Yagami and sends them flying back to earth, all the while shouting "KYOOOO!" with a malfunctioning, magic-drained Raging Heart.

The second star lands in a familiar location west of Riot Force Six's Central Command and lays unconscious. A suspicious group of turkeys mistakes her for free food and takes her to their fort to cook her. However, their Boss recognizes the Relic inside her (why can he see it? Because he's JUST THAT AWESOME TO HAVE A POWER LIKE THAT) and stops his troop. He persuades them from roasting the girl and adopts her as his right wing and trump card, training her in the perplex martial art of Turkey-Fu.

A week later the White Devil and her mate infiltrated the camp and declared war on the turkeys. Their battle became infamously known as the Three Day War. Both sides suffered severe wounds and substantial losses: the turkeys losing their comrade Vivio and Nanoha failing to defeat the Boss Turkey because he summoned a Bunchie and ordered it to trample her and dance to "Chaccaron Macarron" on her back for thirteen minutes straight. It relayed the command without fail.

When the Three Day War ended, the turkeys lost the fight. But they didn't give up hope on besting Nanoha Takamachi, because Shichimenchou-oyabun had just recruited a gaggle of geese across the lake and those pigeons by the park bench would make great front-line attackers . . . .

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_**OWARI! (END!)**_


End file.
